“The One Anothers”

Love One Another

The Scriptures command us to love one another 16 times.

“…Love one another…” (John 13:34; John 13.35; John 15.12; John 15.17; Romans 12:10; Romans 13.8; I Thessalonians 4:9; I Thessalonians 3:12; I Peter 3:8; I Peter 4:8; I John 3:11; I John 3:23; I John 4:7; I John 4:11; I John 4:12; II John 5)

The greatest commandment (John 13:34-35) sums up all of them. Jesus has clearly demonstrated by His death the kind of love that we ought to have for one another, and it is illustrated by Paul in the great love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. …And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

This love is demonstrated in the living out of ten other explicit commands as to how we are to live together.

Encourage One Another

The Scriptures command us to encourage one another seven times (once through building up, once with singing, and once through using spurs).

“…Encourage each other…”(I Thessalonians 4:18; I Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13; Hebrews 10:24; Hebrews 10:25)

“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.” (Ephesians 5:19)

The word “encourage” means to give courage. We need the courage of others when we do not have it ourselves. Following Christ is often challenging, and sometimes the things He asks us to do are very hard. We need the encouragement of others in many ways. Sometimes we need someone to pick us up, dust us off, and point us back in the right direction. Other times we need someone to come and help us do what must be done. And other times we need a stern voice to make us do what we would otherwise avoid.

Encouragement forms the basis of our meeting together weekly. While our smaller gatherings (such as LIFE groups, Bible studies, etc.) provide some measure of this, there is great power in worshipping together at our Sunday Celebration services.

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25

Membership prioritizes the value of meeting together to worship.

Honour and Serve One Another

The Scriptures command us to honour and serve one another eight times.

“…Honour one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)

“…Have equal concern for each other.” (I Corinthians 12:25)

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)

“…Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…”(I Peter 5:5)

“…Wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:14)

“…Serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)

“…In humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others…” (I Peter 4:10)

Serving is first about attitude (honour and humility) and then about action (service), but the two are intertwined. It is the attitude of a servant that informs his or her behaviour, and the behaviour that demonstrates the attitude. In order to serve, one must place others before themselves. In Christ we surrender our preferences for those of others. In Christ we do hard things for each other. This is Christ’s example in washing the disciples feet, and in offering his life for us. This same attitude causes us to use our natural abilities and spiritual gifting to serve the body and the world.

It is this attitude that causes us as members to offer our gifts and talents to the body, serving one another often sacrificially, following the example of Christ.

Membership further provides the basis in which our church leaders are able to serve the body effectively, both by submitting to its needs, and by providing for its’ leadership. This is why all of our leaders within the church are members—including pastors, elders, and key ministry leaders. We voluntarily submit to our leaders and give them authority to speak into our lives, because they have made the same commitment to us.

“Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.” (Hebrews 13:17)

Greet One Another

The Scriptures command us to welcome one another five times.

“…Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (Romans 16.16; I Corinthians 16:20; II Corinthians 13:12 1 Peter 5.14)

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (I Peter 4:9)

It is in Christ that we learn our fellowship is based on His life within us, and that this supersedes any other commonality or difference we might have. We can welcome one another because Christ welcomes us all.

In our day and age, a kiss may not necessarily be the most appropriate way of greeting one another. What is obvious though is that our welcome of one another must be holy. The word holy means “wholly other”. We are called to greet one another in the way that Christ would welcome His own into His body—a sincerity of heart that the rest of the world may find entirely strange, but at the same time, the home they have longed for.

This is further illustrated by our need to offer hospitality to one another. Hospitality is the love of strangers (those who are different or do not belong). Hospitality is not merely a ministry of making sure that newcomers are greeted or have a favourable impression of our church. Hospitality is more than welcoming people to church, or even to our homes. Hospitality is welcoming them into our lives.

Be Patient With One Another

The Scriptures command us to be patient with one another. The word patience means to suffer well.

“…Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

“Bear with each other…” (Colossians 3:13)

“…When you come together to eat, wait for each other.” (I Cor. 11:33)

This means much more than to tolerate or put up with one another. It means to endure one another. Though we love Jesus, our human inadequacies become more and more apparent as we get closer together. We step on each other’s toes, offend, and even hurt one another. We are commanded to overlook these things and to choose to bear with one another’s shortcomings. It is our patience with one another that creates a safe place for each of us to grow to maturity in Christ. Patience is not the same as tolerance. Tolerance is ambivalence towards the sin of others. Patience cares deeply.

Instruct One Another

“…Instruct one another.” (Romans 15:14)

“Teach…[one another]” (Colossians 3:16)

“…Admonish one another (Colossians 3:16)

None of us knows it all, and none of us remembers it all. Because we are prone to wander, it is our responsibility to one another to teach, reinforce, and correct one another for our mutual good. We are told to instruct one another in the things the other doesn’t know, then we are told to teach and reinforce the things that the other already knows, then we are told to correct the things that the other should know better. None of us is above error, and we have a responsibility to help shape one another.

This truth forms the basis for our mutual accountability. We are not only accountable to Christ, but also to one another. Our need for correction requires that the body discipline itself. While there are circumstances where sterner processes are required (see Appendix C), the body was designed to discipline itself—each one disciplining and being disciplined by the others. The biblical process is found in Matthew 18. If your brother or sister sins against you (or vice versa), go and make it right. If they refuse you, get another brother or sister to help. If still you are unable to reconcile, ask the body to intervene.

Live In Harmony With One Another

The Scriptures command us to live in harmony with one another.

“Live in harmony with one another…” (Romans 12:16; 1 Peter 3:8)

“…Be at peace with each other.” (Mark 9:50)

Harmony is not conformity. Harmony is when all of us, as diverse as we are, form one choir and each one sings their own part in a musical masterpiece. Thus living in harmony requires a tuning to the same note. In Christ we have this singular source by which to tune our lives. In Christ we allow others to be different than ourselves and learn to appreciate and even love diversity.

This value is demonstrated in the processes by which we conduct our official meetings, so that everyone is heard and understood, and so that we can effectively move together as one. The word politics actually means “politeness”. Church politics ought to be a good thing—because it flows from our honouring of one another and into how we choose to behave towards one another. We do not need less politics in church, we need more.

Carry One Another

The Scriptures command us to carry one another.

“Carry each other’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2)

“Confess your sins to each other…” (James 5:16)

We are commanded to be there for one another in both good and bad times, but we are not permitted to dump our problems on one another. Instead we are told to pick up the burdens of others. This includes speaking truth to one another – both as an encouragement, and also as a correction. We are to carry one another as though we were one another’s responsibility – because we are.

Forgive One Another

The Scriptures command us to forgive one another.

“…Forgiving each other…” (Ephesians 4:32)

“…Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” (Colossians 3:13)

To forgive is to pay one another’s debts against each other. Jesus commands us to forgive seventy seven times – or in other words without ceasing. We are to forgive as Christ forgave us, for our own forgiveness is dependent upon our forgiveness of others (Matthew 18:35; Luke 11:4). Forgiveness always has a price tag and we fellowship with Christ as we share His forgiveness (not from our own resources, but from His unlimited resources) with others. We are not entitled to one another’s forgiveness (Romans 13.8) for ourselves, but to extend it as Jesus did to us.

Accept And Be Kind To One Another

The Scriptures command us to be accepting of and kind to one another.

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you…” (Romans 15:7)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another…” (Ephesians 4:32)

This is the essence of grace, and different from mercy. It is favour that has been extended for no reason, other than it is in the heart of the giver to do so. The word compassion has much deeper meaning. It means moved physiologically—tender hearted—having a soft spot for someone. The word used of Jesus means to be emotionally moved with a physiological reaction—to really feel it! We are to be moved in our guts with compassion for one another and extend undeserved grace and courtesy.

Pray for One Another

The Scriptures command us to pray for one another.

“…Pray for each other.” (James 5:16)

Prayer for one another requires a rewiring of the heart. Instead of praying for ourselves or praying from a list, we begin to enter conversation with Christ about the work that He continues to do in the lives of our brothers and sisters. We begin in truth to seek the best for others because we have seen how God Himself sees them and desires the best for them. We become His partners in shaping our community, rather than praying that He would fix people to be the way we would want them.

The DO NOTS

There are some clear do nots.

“If you keep on biting and devouring each other…you will be destroyed by each other.” (Galatians 5:15)

“Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” (Galatians 5:26)

“Do not lie to each other…” (Colossians 3:9)

“…Do not slander one another.” (James 4:11)

“Don’t grumble against each other…” (James 5:9)

“…Stop passing judgment on one another.” (Romans 14:13)

These six warnings present to us our natural sinful tendencies and remnants of the old life. Their detrimental effects to the life of community are obvious.

Membership Is Key To Growth And Maturity

At High River Alliance Church, we have learned that membership is a key commitment in the life of a believer. Membership calls us to experience the full breadth of spiritual life the body was meant to share by creating a safe environment for us all to grow together. It calls us to submit to Christ, and in so doing, to one another, and to the spiritual community that we are a part of.

An understanding and embracing of community is first of all a natural outflow of one’s own relationship with Christ. Father, Spirit, and Son all live together in perfect community and not only provide an example, but their life present in the believer ought to create in us a desire to do the same (John 17:20-23).

Membership is also an essential part of the believer’s ability to grow into Christian maturity. While it has been argued often that one can be a member of the universal church without needing to be a member of a local church, this thinking leads us out of mutual accountability and responsibility to one another. The word of God is clear that there are no free-range sheep in His flock. In Christ we are all connected.

Membership further takes a stand against transience and consumerism that is so prevalent in our day and age. Membership declares belonging and demonstrates that we perceive our local body as a family, taking responsibility for it and proving ourselves reliable within it.

Further, both the ministry and mission of Christ were given to the church – the body of believers – not to us as individuals. This is also true of Scripture itself – it was both given in community and given to the community of faith. The Church does not exist for the individual, and neither does the individual exist for the church. They exist for one another.

We present these clear commands of Scripture as the basis for membership. These commands form the core of what it means to function as a church and are where we choose to place our emphasis. Attendance, participation in meetings, and regular financial giving, all present themselves as important responsibilities—but they flow from the Great Commandment—to love God and to love each other. As we mature in Christ, these other things are all natural results of learning to live the life of Christ together.